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Medicine Alternatives Article:
When Humor Hurts, When Humor Heals
For some, it's a familiar scenario You've been sitting for hours already in the stuffy boardroom You and other key personnel in your organization have been trying to solve a sticky corporate problem that just defies solution Nobody seems to be seeing eye to eye Nerves are already on edge You've got a life of your own So have your colleagues When will you get out of this place?
Then, without warning, one of you says something funny Everybody roars with laughter (Or are they just pretending?) Now, there are two possibilities
Could be that this was just what the doctor ordered A sudden and powerful release of pent-up emotions Muscles that were tensed up a moment ago are now relaxed With renewed vigor, you get back to the business at hand So you'll get home a little late tonight - so what?
Alternatively, the joke - or perhaps more accurately, the wisecrack - sounds awful funny for a moment, but the status quo quickly returns The tension in your muscles, and in the air, doesn't dissipate; on the contrary it intensifies The only one in the room who possibly feels some emotional release is the guy who made the "humorous" comment, and even with him, it doesn't last long It's quickly replaced by a feeling of emptiness, even depression
And of course, there could be one hapless man or woman among the audience who not only feels edgy, but positively humiliated
Life is full of trials and tribulations We are surrounded by aggravating people, plans that didn't work out the way we intended, situations that challenge our very sanity We can't always change the facts, but we can change the way we view a certain situation And to bring such positive changes about, we can surely find no more efficient catalyst than humor
We know how humor can improve relationships Even the healing potential of humor is today openly acknowledged by the medical profession
A good joke can be a spontaneous response to a certain situation It doesn't have to be the kind that you see posted all over the Internet or printed in a book It doesn't need to be funny enough to make people slap their sides in hysterics If it produces a good feeling in those who hear it, it has achieved its purpose Nothing more is required
The problem is that many people fail to appreciate the fine but very distinct line between genuine, healthy humor and cynicism or sarcasm That is dangerous Many a school teacher, for example, whether innocently or maliciously, has ruined a child for life with his or her warped sense of humor
Humor is a wonderful tool that helps to make the world a better place, but we must be careful that our personal brand is not really cynicism in disguise A psychologist suggests these guidelines to help us distinguish between the two concepts:
- How do you feel after your humorous comment is broadcast Do you feel a sense of relief, or only emptiness?
- Is anyone in your audience forcing himself to laugh, while others are laughing at his expense? If so, that's not humor, my friend!
- Examine your motives What inspired you to crack that joke? A desire to calm others down or make them happy, or a desire to relieve your own destructive emotions such as anger, frustration or jealousy?
May your day be filled with laughter And above all, may you merit to spread all those positive feelings to those around you
Azriel Winnett is creator of Hoducom - Your Communication Skills Portal This popular free website helps you improve your communication and relationship skills in your business or professional life, in the family unit and on the social scene New articles added almost daily Visit Azriel's Effective Communication blog at: http://hoducom/blog
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